I Wish I had Super Ears

A couple Sundays ago I was praying and reflecting on one of many resurrection accounts found the Gospels (Luke 24: 35-48  do be exact).   I was trying to come up with a short reflection to share before announcing the opening song at church and despite the wealth and depth of the passage I had nothing.

And then I recalled a conversation with my seven year old...

That morning, I was the first one up and moving.  I made my way downstairs and had fixed my cup of coffee.  I was just sitting down in a chair in our living room to enjoy some quiet time when my seven year old came down the stairs.

He came over to me and asked, "Hey Dad, do you think it can be hard to hear God?"

A little dumbfounded, partially for being confronted with such a complex inquiry before my first cup of Joe, but mostly because of the depth of insight of the question, I responded, "Yeah, sometimes I think it can be really hard."

What my son said next floored me.  "I want super ears.  I want my ears to be open so I can really hear Him and be close, like I'm only a few feet away from Him."

...

Okay, trying not to be a doting father here, but...  WOW! K.O. buddy!   Total take-down!


Jump back to the Gospel. 

Despite our longing to be close to God, even the pure and sincere desires of a child, these cannot compare to the yearning of God to be close to us.  He wants to be "like only a few feet away" from us, infinitely more than we do.   I am reminded of St. Augustine of Hippo, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You." 

But here is the twist, "You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and YOUR heart is restless until they rest in You."   No matter how much we long to be with God, He wants it more.  He even conquered sin and death to make sure that nothing could separate us from Him and His love.

Why do we worship?   We worship because God speaks to us through the wisdom and simplicity of children.   We worship because God loves us infinitely more than we could possibly love Him.   He is the Good Shepherd that lays down His life for the flock.

Preparing the Field: Part 2- Getting Our Hands Dirty

So I am an idealist.   I am easily motivated and inspired by concepts.  Much of my own spiritual life and journey reflects this.  It's true close friends (and even my wife) will comment when I am going into theologian mode.   I have a number of dear friends whom with I love having deep God-conversations.   It is like theological nerd candy.

Now I'm not saying my faith is an intellectual activity for me.   The reality is, occasionally when I pray, one of these ideas or realities of God or His love can hit me so profoundly that it leads to an affective response and even tears.   God has lead me to have a contemplative side to my relationship with Him.

But there is a challenge and a danger here.   Do I let these ideas and realizations transform me?   And I'm not just talking about an emotional response.   Do they change how I live my life?  There is a subtly that can take hold and lead to a cooling of my heart.   It leads to a type of complacency where I am comfortable with my faith, because I know about God and His love.  I can even think... "Shoot thinking about these things even lead my eyes to fill."

Somehow I get the feeling that when Jesus declared, "I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!" he was talking about more than just nice ideas (no matter how true) or powerful feelings (no matter how valid).   He was talking about a radical transformation of hearts and lives.   Sure fire gives off light and reveals truth.  Sure fire gives off heat and warm hearts.   But Jesus is talking about a life, an earth ON FIRE, totally consumed by the flames, transformed, and forged into something new.  He wants our faith to be more just knowledge known, or feelings felt, but something lived, something that gets our hands dirty.

A practical illustration that I hope is not oversimplifying my point...

I could see someone hurting, maybe someone in the pews at church, a coworker, and homeless person on the street, and I can think to myself, "This person is a child of God with dignity and value and worthy of God's love."   Maybe my intellect will even lead me to pray for this individual and God would reveal His love to them.

Or maybe it even goes a step further, I am even moved by the person and I feel God's love and pity for that person.

But is that it?   Well I sure hope that is enough.  It sure is safe and in my comfort zone.   I feel pretty good about what I thought and felt, shoot I even prayed.  Aren't I compassionate?   God, I hope that is enough, don't call me to do more.   I've already done...

(sigh)

You want me to get my hands dirty don't You?  I guess if being Your hands and feet involves more that just intellectual sentiments, no matter how sentimental that may lead me to become.   You want me to be sacramental...  You want me to that concrete reality of Your love for someone else.

Imagine if Jesus held back.   "Okay Father, I've taught these people all about Your love and the Kingdom!   Mission accomplished right?...  Okay, well look I feel really bad for the leper over there.  I'm done now right?...  Oh You want me to heal him.   To treat him like a human being."

Or take it one step further...   Christ just didn't teach about God's love; He just didn't feel it and have compassion, weeping over Lazarus, sweating blood and tears.   He held nothing back.  He lived it... even to the point of dying on the Cross.

Why do worship?   We worship because there is a God who lives His love for us.   How do we worship?  By living His love for others.   Lord, prepare the field of my heart, so I am willing to get my hands dirty, to hold nothing back.

Preparing the Field: Part 1- The Soil of Our Hearts

Maybe because it is finally Spring and the snow has finally melted in this northern region of the United States.  (Even though I am sure there are still some frozen mounds of ice and dirt in some grocery store parking lots.)   But I have been reflecting a lot about fields.

Fields require work and preparation.   A great part of this is God's work and a portion God invites us to participate with Him.   Despite futile desires to take my wife's hair drier outside and thaw the ground, the soil will not warm up.  And even though I'm convinced my kids are trying to heat the entire neighborhood when they leave the backdoor upon, it won't make a dent.   God in due season (pun intended) changes the weather through the cycles of calendar.   It is the sun that warms up the earth and softens the ground.  It is only then when the farmer can go and till the field and plant the seed.   Just as it would be foolish for the farmer to warm the earth on his own, so too it would be waste of time and resources to plow the field and plant the seed when it is frozen solid.

In our lives God prepares fields where He invites us to go and do His work.   The preparations are already in place.   The ground is already thawed and maybe already tilled.  We may just need to plant the seed.   That field is already set and God just needs to send the workers.

But...

There is another field that needs to be prepared.   What about the heart of the workers?  What about my heart?   The field of my heart can be colder and harder than the field I am be invited to.  Do I let the warmth of the sun and God's grace thaw my heart?   Am I willing to let my heart be tilled and turned over so that new life can be planted?  Sometimes it may feel comfortable under a blanket of snow and when it begins to melt, I may be tempted to try throw more snow and ice on top.   Maybe I try to block the rays of the sun by blocking it and protect that precious ice and snow that surrounds and "safeguards" the field of my heart.

What am I really doing?  Am I blocking out God and His grace?  God wants to give us more of Himself.   He wants us to know Him and His love.   God wants to send us out to share His grace and mercy with others.  And by being sent and doing His work, He reveals Himself even more. 

In Matthew 13 Jesus shares the Parable of the Sower where a farmer goes out and scatters seed in the field.   Whether or not the seed takes root depends upon if the ground is prepared to receive it.   Does the seed fall on rocky soil, amongst the weeds, exposed where the birds can snatch it up, or fertile soil ready for the seed?   But what if the farmer never went out?   What if the farmer decided, "You know I am comfortable staying in the farmhouse today.   Planting the seed must be for someone else because my place is here not there."   Not only would the work not get done, but the farmer would miss the opportunity for grace of knowing God deeper.

There is a field that God is invited us to work.  Maybe it is a new field, maybe it is the same field but He is offering a new perspective and approach or the opportunity to return back to what first led us there, to recenter ourselves.   And there is the field of our hearts.   Have we let our hearts become hard by complacency, comfort and security, anger and bitterness, fear and anxiety?   Have I, consciously or unintentionally, reached a point where I do not let my heart be warmed and soften? Lord give us the courage to thaw our hearts... to let You in.   Soften our hearts to know You, to know You more, to be loved.

Why do we worship?   Because there is a God who desires for us to know Him more, to know new depths of His love, who calls us to trust Him more so that we can come to know that He will never let us go.   There is a God who is not satisfied, who want us to be even closer to Him.

God's Will is Like a Box of Crayons

I can look back at certain areas of my life where I was trying to discern God's will.  Often these were times of great stress and anxiety.   What if I got it wrong?   What if I go the wrong way?   What could this cost me?   I'm willing to step out, but I need to see a net to catch me.  There seems to be a wrestling match between excitement and fear and doubt.  Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if God just gave me a light show or a letter in the mail (okay an email.  Nope still too dated... a tweet or shapchat).   You know something along the lines of...

Dear Josh,
Here is the My plan for your life complete with all the step-by-step instructions.   And here are all the safety features and securities blankets.   So there is really no need for faith.
Sincerely,
God

Now there is a historical precedence for God doing miraculous revelations, but they are not the norm for most of us.    Maybe our understanding of discernment and obedience to God is off.   Perhaps it works something more like this...

On his way home from work a dad stops by the store and picks up a package of crayons and construction paper for his son.  When he arrives home, his son runs and greets him at the door with a warm hug.  The dad then leans over and says,  "Here you son.  I got these for you."

After giving a very enthusiastic "Thank you Daddy!" the son runs to his room and jumps on his bed.  He draws two awkward looking stick figures and scribbles the words "I love you Daddy" across the page with half the letters written backwards.

The son then darts out into into the living room, jumps onto his father's lap and says, "Here Daddy, I made this for you."

When the dad gave his son the gift, he did not tell him what to make or how to make it.   The son was free to do what he wanted and he let his love for his father inspire his creativity.

Discerning God's will is not passively waiting for a light show or a note from God.   It is proactive and creative.  It is eager and longs to be expressed.   Maybe discernment works more like this...

Lord, what gifts and talents have You given me?  What can I do with them?  What can I make?   The son could have folded the paper in half and made a card.   He could have made a paper-airplane.   He didn't have string so he couldn't have made a hanging mobile.   However, God does not choose the qualified, but He qualifies the chosen.

Lord, help me to know and receive Your love.   Let Your love and Holy Spirit lead me and inspire me.   God does not desire passive robots that blindly follows a program or instructions.   He doesn't want servants or slaves with blind obedience.  He desires co-creators and companions to work with Him.   "I no longer call you slaves or servants but friends." (John 15:15).  He wants us to be partners.

Mary's yes was not something passive.   It was proactive, coming from a longing to say yes to a God whom she loved.   She was actively making herself available to be open to whatever opportunity God brought before her.   Her response, "How can these be?" was not a moment of doubt but excitement.

Without sounding too cliche, the most important part of discerning is not the decision but the deepening our relationship with Christ, coming to know anew His love, and trusting in His divine friendship.   Christ desires to conquer our fears, doubts, and anxieties so that we can come to know His love and grace.   Jesus I trust in You.

Why do we worship?   We worship a loving God with our lives, as a creative offering to a Father whom has given us everything that we have and all that we are.   He is a loving Father that delights in the gifts that we create and jump onto His lap to give back to Him, a loving Father that wants us to know the warmth and security of His embrace.

My challenge for me...  Do I dare to love God?   How would I respond if Jesus asked me, "Do you love me more than these?"  I am willing to give up security and my comfort zone to follow Him?

P.S.  Sorry that you probably have to watch an ad at the beginning of the video.

Looking for the Cross

During the Veneration of the Cross at the Good Friday Liturgy, several years ago, there was a striking scene at my church.  This part of the liturgy can be a very moving experience in itself as people of different ages, walks of life, social and economic backgrounds come forward and offer some gesture of reverence to a wooden cross and the love of God that it represents.

This particular Good Friday I was watching people wait in line and then affectionately touche or kiss the cross, when a elderly blind man grabbed my attention as he stood waiting.  I assume the woman that lead him by the arm was a family member, probably a daughter, and the two of them patiently waited.  She would gently guide him one step at a time as the line slowly crept forward.  Finally it was his turn and the woman whispered in his ear.  His hands came forward, floundering in midair grasping and seeking for the small wood cross that was held before him.  There was an instant look of peace as his hands found the cross and he drew it to his lips to give it a kiss.

Now there is the obvious theme of being blind in darkness and receiving the light of faith, but that is not what struck me.   Here was a man impaired by his blindness.   I don't know for sure but considering the fact that he was elderly, I would guess that at some point in his life he either gradually or suddenly lost his sight.  How devastating that must have been!   I can only imagine a sense of grief and loss that I would feel if some day I realized that I would never again see a sunset or gaze upon the face of a love one.

This man's faith propelled him forward.   He sought the Cross.   For him, the Cross was a source of consolation.   The suffering of the Cross brought him peace.  Now I don't know for sure what he was thinking, to me it looked as if by embracing and kissing the cross, he was embracing and kissing a friend that understood, who had been there with him in his loss and suffering.  A friend who gets it and has a form of compassion that can only come because he has been there too.   This Good Friday was not the first time this blind man found the Cross.   He had found it years ago as he went through his own crosses.  And he found the Man that hung on the Cross was with him and his cross.

There have been times in my life that were periods of the cross.  I am in no way saying I handled these time gracefully and with joy, but looking back I can clearly see God presence.  His hand reached down from his cross to take my head and be with me in my cross.   He has lead me through deserts just so I can know his love and be with him.

God is reaching down to each of us in our challenges, suffering and crosses.   And he says, "I get it.   Let me be your companion and strength.   I will never leave you as long as you let me in."

Why do we worship?   We worship because there is a God who is willing to be with us in our suffering, so we can know how far he is willing to go to show us his love.   He is willing to die on the Cross just so he can be with us even in our suffering.